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Not shy? Find yourself here by mistake? Perhaps you'd like our roundup of the best hookup sites instead. Now, you can scan for a potential mate without ever leaving the comfort zone that is your couch. Of course, you'll eventually need to get up and go on a date. But hey, it's better than trying to find a single cutie in the dive bar crowd or approaching a random person in a coffee shop looking like the "two fingers touching" meme guy. Being introverted doesn't necessarily mean you're shy, Seeking a special discreet friend if you are a little more reserved than outgoing, dating apps can be a great way to make a first move without feeling like you're putting yourself out there too much, too fast.
Tinder seems to be the go-to for anyone dabbling with online dating, but it's not automatically an easy place to socialize just because it's behind a screen. It's crowded, full of users with unspecified intentions, and has more going on than most introverts will probably feel like dealing with. If endless swiping and next to no filters have you feeling more discouraged than hopeful, it doesn't mean you're too much of an introvert for online dating — maybe all you need is a dating site that gives you more control and the ability to take things at your own pace.
If the idea of making conversation in large groups or going up to strangers is your personal idea of hell, there are dating services out there that can cater to your specific needs. Have a hard time coming up with the perfect first line? There's an app for that. Prefer to make meaningful connections without revealing what you look like? We found a few websites with features that can let you do that too. To help you heighten your odds of finding the person to match your awesomeness, we rounded up 13 of the best dating sites for introverts just like you. There are even a couple specifically for hooking up.
Hey, just because you're introverted doesn't mean you don't like to get it on. We see you. Who's online: In short, this site is probably filled with your neighbors, old coworkers, new coworkers, and more. How it works: match is pretty much an open dating service. There's absolutely no limit to who you connect with, or how often. After you set your dating criteria, the site will display possible matches.
You can tweak or fine-tune the as you wish. Features for introverts: Large crowds can be scary, but match regularly hosts meet-up events where you can create genuine relationships over time. If you enjoy browsing anonymously, there's a feature called Incognito Mode that allows you to view profiles without the other person knowing. If you don't find a partner within six months, match will give you six more months of the service for free, which means you can take your time looking for your absolute ideal match. What it'll cost you: You can for free, or opt for more features with a premium membership.
In your discoveryou'll see one potential match at a time and you're able to like or respond to any of their prompts or photos — just tap on the heart in the lower corner and you'll be given the option to type something in or just leave it at a like.
In your "likes you" section you'll see everyone who has liked or responded to something on your profile and you have the option to respond, let them start the conversation, or pass on them. The free version of Hinge only lets you see one like at a time and you have to Seeking a special discreet friend a decision on them to see the next one. Preferred members can see all of their matches at once and choose which ones they want to respond to first. Features for introverts: Because the app is so prompt-focused, introverts will have a jumping-off point for starting a conversation.
The prompts also allow you to show off some of your personality that might not come across naturally if you're more reserved. What it'll cost you: The basic version is completely free and is pretty extensive. You can totally use the app long-term without paying a cent — you'll just have to sift through matches one-by-one.
If you like the freedom to browse, you might want to upgrade. Preferred members also get their profiles seen more, so it could be worth it if you're really looking for a relationship.
Who's online: EliteSingles' sibling site, SilverSingles, is geared towards people who are 50 and older and looking to jump into the dating pool or jump back into the dating pool after a hiatus. The site boasts "mature, older, and senior singles" who are mainly looking for long-lasting connections instead of quick flings. How it works: After answering some basic questions about yourself and your desired partner, you'll be able to rank how important qualities like age and education level are to a potential match.
Then, you'll be able to take SilverSingles' in-depth personality questionnaire, which uses the same five-factor model that EliteSingles uses to explore your personality and relationship desires, from how you handle conflict to what you're looking for in a partner. How it helps introverts: Since there's no swiping involved, you won't come across tons of matches every day with the pressure to message each person you see.
SilverSingles does the hard work for you, and uses its thorough compatibility model to send you between three to five ideal matches every day. Each profile is rich with information, too, so you can find out a lot about the person you matched with before you decide to chat with them. What it'll cost you: While the site is free to up and take the questionnaire, you'll have to fork over some cash to actually get matches and chat with other users. Meet the dating app version of the Sadie Hawkins dance, created by ex-Tinder employees. In an attempt to correct one of the common complaints of dating apps — that women get spammed with tons of creepy messages — women are required to message first with Bumble.
It pushes some women out of their comfort zone, but like Tinder, you'll at least know that someone also swiped right on you before making a move. It also takes the pressure off of dudes who feel like they need to start the conversation every time. For same-sex matches, either party can start things off. Matches expire after 24 hours so you can't agonize over that opening line for too long, and your match list won't be filled with people you forgot you matched with 57 weeks ago. It's a win-win setup for introverted men who don't have the confidence to message first and for women who are tired of being bombarded.
You'll see pictures and short bios of potential matches in your area and can swipe depending on whether you're interested. It's a pretty close mock of Tinder, except for the fact that Bumble relieves the anxiety of accidentally swiping left on a hottie by letting you backtrack.
Bumble also offers a BFF feature to find strictly platonic friends and a LinkedIn-ish networking feature called Bizz in attempts to remind everyone that it's not just a hookup app. Filtering by zodiac is also a thing as of The internet is divided over whether this will actually help you find people you'd get along with, as the feature only incorporates sun s and anyone with basic astrology knowledge knows that sun s aren't a tell-all.
However, if someone Seeking a special discreet friend went through a messy breakup with a Virgo, they have the right to not want to mess with a Virgo for a while. Who's online: OkCupid boasts forming more than 91 million connections every year and 50, dates made every week. How it works: Algorithms, formulas, heuristics — the site uses a lot of crazy math stuff to help people find their matches faster. You'll see a percentage rating on each profile you encounter, letting you know the odds of success.
Features Seeking a special discreet friend introverts: You can really be yourself on OkCupid. What it'll cost you: A basic is always free. But there are some paid extras you can enjoy if you want a more premium experience. If you pay for the A-List membership, you can cut out theyou get more search options like body type and attractiveness, you can see everyone who likes you, and you can see who re your messages, among other useful things. There's an incognito mode that lets you be invisible to everyone on the site unless you like or message them.
Access to incognito mode is a separate charge not included with A-list. Who's online: eharmony's membership pool consists of millions of singles who reside in all 50 U. How it works: eharmony uses a compatibility matching system that pairs relationship hopefuls based on 29 different dimensions of compatibility. To get started, just fill out the relationship questionnaire, and once you're confirmed as legit, the website will start sending you your compatible matches.
How it helps introverts: eharmony has a feature called RelyID that helps verify the information provided by other members, like their name, city, and age. You know what that means? No catfishing. Also, your profile is only visible to the people who are a good match for you, so the experience can help to narrow your potentials down to only those who are actually a good fit. from your personality quiz plus prompts you answer and photos you help steer conversation, so you'll have plenty of jumping off points.
But there's also Guided Communication, a four-step program of communication with your matches, if you need a little extra help. Basically, it's a series of questions that help to break the ice. If that doesn't work, the site also offers free dating advice. What it'll cost you: eharmony's pricing heavily fluctuates depending on where and when you up.
Regardless of current price, eharmony is one of the most expensive mainstream dating sites out there. Who's online: EliteSingles says its users are mainly educated, relatively affluent, adults Seeking a special discreet friend the ages of 30 and 55 who are in search of long-term commitment. The site breakdown by gender works out to be 56 percent women and 44 percent men with more thanusers. How it works: In order to find like-minded matches, EliteSingles has you take an in-depth personality test. The test will evaluate you on your level of openness, conscientiousness, extraversion, agreeableness, and neuroticism.
Based on thethe smart profiling can send you three to seven compatible matches every day. How it helps introverts: Since the personality test can identify the traits that really make you who you are, the dating service can match you with exactly the type of personality you'd be most compatible with. The extensive personality testing le to interesting conversation starters and it's easier to find people you'll have things in common with.
You can even identify yourself as an introvert. Each membership requires that you pay the entire duration upfront. Who's online: Zoosk has about 40 million users worldwide, which is an absolutely massive pool of singles. Unfortunately, you will probably run into a few inactive s. How it works: Like a good wingman or wing womanZoosk starts to understand you more and more as time goes on to help introduce you to the person you can spend the night or rest of your life with.
The site's unique algorithm recognizes your preferences through the actions you take. The more you interact with the site, the better it can match you with your ideal human. Features for introverts: The SmartPick can really be your best friend, serving as the best icebreaker. If both you and someone you're interested in both vote "yes" on each other's profiles, the SmartPick feature will let you know the good news by and shoot you a message in your Zoosk inbox.
Another good option is the Super Send feature, which could help eliminate the scary feeling from being the one to make the first move. Choose a message to break the ice, then allow Zoosk to blast it out to other members for you using Super Send. If someone indicates they're interested by writing back, then you get to view each other's profiles. Who's online: Coffee Meets Bagel is deed for busy singles who are looking to build real connections with little to no effort.
How it works: CMB uses an algorithm that takes into consideration basic info like your location, age, ethnicity, height, and religion, plus more nuanced criteria like your social network and interests to pair you with potential matches. You'll need a Facebook to.
Features for introverts: Instead of swiping, browsing, poking, and messaging your way into someone's inbox only to never hear back, this app will send you a potential match every day at noon. Men receive curated Seeking a special discreet friend based on the algorithm and women will only be presented with potential matches called Bagels that have already expressed interest. LGBTQ members are sent preselected potential matches every day. Once there's a connection, the app sends you to a private chat room with icebreaker questions to get things started. CMB also follows up to encourage your first date.
Chatting expires after seven days to encourage people to actually start a conversation. Who's online: Lex is made for womxn, trans, genderqueer, intersex, two spirit, and non-binary people. How it works: Inspired by newspaperLex is a text-based app where you can write personal "" and notes about yourself or the type of partner you're looking for.
There's no swiping and no selfies, though you can connect your Instagram if you'd like. Features for introverts: Because there are no photos, you can really hide behind a screen and your words.
Lex is more like a queer social media platform than a traditional dating app. Lex is low-key and low-pressure with a community vibe. There are search and filter functions that allow you to find exactly what Seeking a special discreet friend looking for. It's an especially great app if you're recently out and nervous about diving into the queer dating pool. Who's online: Since its debut inHappn has been challenging Tinder directly and has the same young swiping app crowd you'd expect.
Happn has around 70 million users, with 1. While it doesn't have as many users as the big mainstream dating apps, it has a pretty decent user pool for what it's trying to do. How it works: Believing in love at first sight is kind of hard when you're too nervous to introduce yourself at first sight. Happn uses your current location to alert you of other users nearby, so if you're too scared to talk to a random cutie on the train or in a coffee shop, Happn can help you match with them and tip you off to other singles who are nearby.
It's like having a wingman minus the bad jokes. Features for introverts : While Tinder and most other dating apps use your location to some extent, most still require some effort to actually see the person IRL. Perhaps there's someone you pass on your walk every morning who has caught your eye, but you've accepted the fact that you'll never meet them — because there's no way in hell you're going to start a conversation.
If your unidentified crush also has Happn, they'd essentially get a notification that you exist. If they're interested too, Happn will match you and the conversation can start from there. There's also an interactive map that shows everyone you've crossed paths with in the last seven days. If you're really nervous, you can "secret like" someone and they won't know that you've liked them unless they also like you.Seeking a special discreet friend
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The best dating sites for introverts, wallflowers, and anyone hesitant to try online dating