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In building a house, start with a foundation, not the roof. You and he are the foundation. If you want him to go from boyfriend to husband, then you should have addressed this first, imho. The should have been the second topic. They are nearing a age of better reasoning, where they can recognize the committment you two -?
You have your set ideals, and that is fine and good. But you cannot expect him to walk a bridge he doesnt know is solid. He naturally be "laid back", or he could be respectful about the fact he is still "just the boyfriend" and it is NOT his place until he has a ring on his finger. So if you want him to step up, maybe you need to show him it is alright. Bringing the on board should be your second concern. Again, just my opinion.
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The key to this set up is to live far enough away about minutes minimum where it isn't exactly convenient to you all the time.
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